Untitled
by Bookcat
Summary: Um... this is the first part. It's not very good. But you have to read this to get to the better parts! ^_^;
1. Default Chapter Title

Ages in this fic: Ash: 20 Misty: 22 Brock: 25 Rachel: 25 Jessie/James: 27 Giovanni: Old, really, really old 

Ash was facing the ice gym leaof Chalky City. Her badge was not necessary to challenge the elite four, seeing that he had beat them 6 years before, at age 14, but to be the best, he needed to beat everyone. 

"2 on 2 match. You can chose first, since I'm feeling nice. My name is Rachel, by the way, Ash." Said the brunette. 

"How'd you know my name? Never mind… Charizard, I chose you!" Said Ash, glad Charizard started listening to him before he beat the Elite Four. 

"Ah, fire, good choice against ice. You're a wise trainer, Ketchem. But Blaster-dude, come 'ere!" Said Rachel. 

"Just what I need, someone who sticks to the 2/3's have to be your type rule like glue. Charizard, fire spin!" Ash yelled. 

"Put out the fire, blaster-dude!" 

"What kind of move is that?" 

"One were you let the Pokémon have breathing room, Ketchem." 

Finding his Charizard on the floor "Uh, Charizard? Buddy, get in the pokeball, okay?" 

"Ketchem, chose your next Pokémon before I get a Pysduck-level headache." Said an impatient Rachel. 

"Um, okay, Ponyta, I chose you!" Said Ash, a little disconnected as nobody challenges a Pokémon master. 

"Arty, lemme see your rare lil' face!!" said Rachel, laughing. 

"Rachel, please. Don't call me Arty. I hate the nicknames you come up with! Oh, I give up. Fifteen years now." said the Articuno. 

"A talking Pokémon? I haven't seen one since… I became a Pokémon master!" Yelled Ash. 

"Arty, you know what to do, peck the wittle pony in the wittle pony's wittle face." Yawned Rachel. 

"Consider it… done." Said Arty. 

"What! I LOST! I haven't lost since…" 

"You became a Pokémon master. Ashton Ketchem! How did a big ego like you ever talk me out of getting my bike back!" Said Misty, walking in. 

"Waters, how you been. Is Rock with you today, 'cause if he is, that's good for once." Said Rachel, acknowleding Misty. 

"Yes, Brock is here too." Said Misty. 

"What? Misty, Brock, I thought you guys were in Pewter and Cerulean, respectively, what are you doing here?" Said Ash, really confused. 

"Long story, pal. Hey, Rachel, how are you?" Said Brock, leering a bit a Rachel. 

"Fine, Rock." Said Rachel. 

"WHAT IS GOING ON!?" Yelled Ash, completely frazzled. 

"PIKACHU CHU PIKA!" Said Pikachu, meaning 'You didn't know? Arty just told me'. 

"Here's the story. You beat the Elite four and Jezelle, who was current master. Misty and Brock ditched you. I was engaged to Misty's cousin Toby. Misty and Brock are friends, so the both of them decided to hang out here, in Chalky City, to escape their families. Butch, Cassidy, and Gary killed Toby. I am assembling a trainer of every possible kind to avenge their deaths. Oh yeah, your dad is named Flint Rock, you've met him, I'm your cousin on your mother's side, Brock's your ½-brother, your mother's and my mother's dad is Giovanni, any questions?" Said Rachel, as if she told sad stories all the time. 

"Brock, you're my ½-brother?" asked Ash. 

"I only found out a week ago." Said an embarrassed Brock. 

"Giovanni's my grandpa on the other side?" Asked Ash. 

"She said that, idiot!" Said Misty, who Ash suddenly noticed looked really good. 

"Okay." Said Ash, scared by that thought. 

"Oh, I need you to give up your title to be my Electric Trainer." Said Rachel, looking at a picture of what could be a male Misty with better fashion sense. 

"Fine, A.J. was about to challenge me anyway." Said Ash. 

"Ash, you're gonna run into a little group of people you used to be acquaintances with. And, that should be them." Said Rachel stepping aside to reveal blackness and dramatic music 

"Prepare for trouble!" 

"Make it double!" 

"To protect the world from devastation!" Said Jessie, the lights coming on. 

"To unite all peoples within our nation!" Said James, holding up a red rose. 

"To denounce the evils of truth and love!" Said Jessie, with a kind of enthusiasm that could only mean one thing: Lame cover up. Everyone snickered. 

"To extend our reach to the stars above!" Said James, glaring at everybody 

"Jessie!" She struck a pose. 

"James!" He struck a pose, holding his rose. 

"Rocket Division blasts off at the speed of light!" Said Jessie. 

"Surrender now or prepare to fight!" Said James 

"Meowth, dat's right!" Said Meowth 

"WHAT!" exclaimed Ash. 

"We're the new poison trainers." Said James. 

"Meowth, I actually train cat-like Pokémon." Said Meowth. 

"I'm here to see my grandson and granddaughter again." Said Giovanni, sneaking up behind them. 

"Hey, G. How you doing? And you two, the J's, how are ya?" 

"Hello, Rachel. I'm fine, thank you, granddaughter." Said Giovanni. 

"Rachel, you're our new boss! But we're two years older than you!" Screamed Jessie. 

"Giovanni, grandpa, doesn't sound right." Mused Ash. 

Author's Note: About the names Rachel and Toby... I just couldn't think of a different name at the time, darn it! The first thing I saw was book 13! 


	2. Default Chapter Title

PART 2 Ages in this fic:Ash: 20 Misty: 22 Brock: 25 Rachel: 25 Jessie/James: 27 Giovanni: Old, really, really old 

"Ah, grandson. At last I speak to you, for real. I met you once before, when I battled you, correct?" Said Giovanni. 

"No, remember! You had left the gym to the J's. Grampa, your memory's going." Said Rachel. 

"Hi, Giovanni, uh, I can call you that?" Asked Ash, nervously. 

"Of course, Ashton. May I call you that?" Asked Giovanni, whose Persian came up behind him. 

"Uh…" said Ash. 

"He prefers Ash, Giovanni, sir." Said Misty, helping out. 

"Ah, thank you, Miss Waters. I trust you will take care of Ash?" 

"Me? No way, that can be Rachel or Brock's job! They're the ones related to him!" Said Misty. 

"Forgive me, I had thought you two were involved." Said Giovanni. 

"THEM! NO WAY!" Screamed Ash and Misty together, with their fingers crossed behind their backs. 

"G, I'll take care of all these kids." Said Rachel. 

"Ah, Rachel? James and I are 2 years older than you." Said Jessie, quite annoyed. 

"James and you are too love struck to do anything competently." Said Meowth, suffering a bit from a hit with a frying pan courtesy of the Team Rocket psycho red-head. 

"Huh?" Said James. 

"Rachel, Rachel, I'm your age, I'm not a k-k-k-id." Said Brock, stuttering because Rachel walked right next to him, really, really close. 

"You get too girl crazy." Said Rachel. 

"Hey, what about me! I'm a Pokémon master!" Said Ash. 

"You, responsible! PLHEASE!" Said Misty. 

"Hey! No fair! You're not responsible enough either!" Said Ash. 

"I never said I was." Said Misty. 

"I'll be going now. Jessie, James, Meowth… If you ruin Rachel's operation, it's curtains. Literally." 

"Uh, bye, Boss." Chorused Meowth, Jessie, and James. 

"Rock... Keep away from my granddaughter unless she gives you leave to invade her personal space." 

"Yessir." Said Brock, taking a huge step away from Rachel. 

"Misty… Watch out for my grandson when Rachel is dealing with other members of this little group." 

"Sure, Giovanni, sir." Said Misty. 

"Rachel, Ash… Have a great time. Nice meeting you, grandson." Said Giovanni, actually giving them a warm smile. 

"Bye, G." Said Rachel. 

"Goodbye, Giovanni. Nice meeting you too." Said Ash. 

Once he left, Brock asked Rachel "May I invade your personal space?" 

Rachel replied "How about this; not ten feet away, not ten centimeters away." 

"DEAL!" Cried Brock. 

"Misty… You have to watch me when Rachel is busy! That is extremely distressing." Said Ash crossing his fingers. 

"I don't like it either, Ash." Said Misty, crossing her fingers as well. 

James finally realized what Meowth had said. "LOVE-STRUCK!" 

In a different corner of the room… "MEOWTH, how ya been, Pikachu?" Said Meowth, in a totally different conversation. 

"Pika. Pika pikachu chu pikachu pika pik." Which ment. "Fine. Ash still hasn't realized I'm a girl.". 

"You want me to tell 'im? He'd love dat." Asked Meowth. 

"PIKA!" which ment "NO!" 

"At last, I meet another talking Pokémon. But it's a cat, and I'm a bird. Alas, poor, poor, me." Said Arty. 

"Yum, an Articuno!" Said Meowth, hungrily. 

END PART 2. Author's Note: If you aren't a romantic, don't read this series anymore. There's other stuff, like lame jokes and eventually, action, but... 


	3. Default Chapter Title

Ages in this fic: Ash: 20 Misty: 22 Brock: 25 Rachel: 25 Jessie/James: 27 Giovanni: Old, really, really old PART 3 

"Meowth, if you eat Arty you're dead meat. Don't think I didn't warn you." Said Rachel. 

"She can make something into dead meat. She did that to me once when I insulted Rover, Eevee-lion, Flare-lion, and Jolt-lion saying that Mer-man was better than all of them combined." Said Misty helpfully. 

"Who?" Asked Ash. 

"Her Growlithe, Eevee, Flareon, and Jolteon were who Misty insulted, her Vaporeon was what she said was best." Said Brock. 

"Jessie, you remember what we think about Brock?" Asked James, suddenly laughing. 

"Of course, James. Do you think I have a bad memory?" Asked Jessie. 

"No, of course not!" Said James, cowering. 

"What do you think about Rock, J's?" Asked Rachel, curious. 

"Just that his obsession with girls is to cover up the fact he's gay." Said Meowth matter of factly. 

"Hey, that's not true!" Said Brock. 

"Prove it." Said Jessie. 

"How?" Asked Ash. "How would he a.) fake liking so many girls and b.) prove it?" He looked just as confused as he did back in his dense days. 

"With a kissing contest." Said James. 

"Huh?" Said everyone else. 

"The guys all have a kissing contest, the girls are all judges." Said James. 

"Ewww!!" Said Ash and Misty, she trying to hide behind Pikachu, he trying to hide behind Togepi, crossing their fingers yet again. 

"It's not a big deal, people." Said Rachel. 

"Yeah. It's not a big deal." Brock echoed. 

"Fine, us girls, line up over here, you guys, go down the line, then all the girls write down the way they rank the guys as kissers." Said Jessie. 

"One major problem: is it bad for us if Rachel and I kiss, since we're related?" Asked Ash. 

"Did'ja haveta bring that up? Now I'm gonna feel all weird." Said Rachel, already in line with Misty and Jessie. 

"Sorry." Said a sheepish Ash. 

"Pika Pikachu Pika Pi Chu Pikachu!" "I'm a girl, do I participate?" Said Pikachu. 

"No Pikachu, you and all the other Pokémon don't participate." Said Rachel gently, wondering about… ooh, never mind. 

"Pi, Pika." "Aw, darn." 

"Okay, James, you first, since it was your idea." Said Jessie. 

"Fine." Said James, and kissed all three girls, (not very well-due to nervousness) Misty squirming a bit. 

"Ash, you next." Said Jessie. 

"Are you in charge here?" Asked Ash. 

"For this I am." Growled Jessie, getting a LOOK on her face. 

"Okay, okay!" Said Ash. He kissed everyone, with Rachel squirming a bit. 

"Brock, ah... the reason for the contest... let's see what you've got!" said Jessie. 

"Okay." Said Brock, eagerly kissing all three girls. 

"Wow!" Said a stunned Rachel. "That was good!" 

"Thanks." Said a sheepish Brock. 

All the girls handed their votes to Jessie. 

"Third place, James. Second Place, Ash. Therefore, first place is Brock." Said Jessie. 

"YES!" Screamed Brock. Then he turned to all of them in some kind of daze. "Will y'all go out with me?" Various weapons hit him over the head. 

END PART 3. 

Here's how all the girls voted (the parentases are what the girls were thinking… 

MISTY: 1-Brock 2-Ash 3-James (who by the by, really, really, sucked) 

JESSIE: 1-Brock 2-James (Crush thing) 3-Ash. 

RACHEL: 1-Brock 2-Ash (even though he's my gosh darn cousin) 3-James. 


	4. Default Chapter Title

PART 4 

"So that's your proof. Rock is far from gay." Said Rachel. 

"Yeah." Agreed Jessie and Misty. 

"Brock, good, good buddy, how exactly do you kiss them so they vote you first place?" Said James. 

"Toby Waters taught me a copula weeks before Butch, Cassidy and Gary... Got him." Said Brock, still in a daze from being hit. 

"I remember that! It was fun, being his female to be exampled on." Said a grinning Rachel, then frowning at B, C, and G's names being mentioned. 

"I always hated that Cassidy b*tch." Said Jessie. 

"And Butch's voice... UGH!" Said James. 

"And Gary's ego is bigger than a Snorlax!" Said Ash. 

"My family and I hate all of those... I don't wanna say it's." Said Misty. 

"Hey, let's have a girls kissing contest!" Said Jessie. "Just to round it out." Then she thought "And to show James what I've got." 

Rachel's Alakazam popped out of nowhere, and telepathically said 

"Rachel, do all your Pokémon have your terrible sense of humor?" Asked Jessie. 

"Yep!" 

"Let's do that contest." Said James. 

"Sure, why not?" Said, of all people, Ash. 

"Fine." Said Brock, not as enthusiastic as usual. 

"Okay, it's settled. Guys, over there. Girls, over here, with me, get ready to kiss 'em." Said Jessie. " I'll go first." 

She kissed all of them, giving her all. She was actually quite good. Except, of course, that she was nervous. After all, James was in the contest! 

"Misty, you next." Said Jessie. 

Misty gave it her all, especially on Ash. 

"Rachel... with the experience... you last." 

Rachel half-heartedly kissed all three guys. 

"Turn in your votes, fellows... WHAT! I'm in last, and that BRAT Misty is TIED with that BIG-SHOT Rachel!" Screamed Jessie. 

"How is dere a tie with 3 people votin'?" Asked Meowth, suddenly going back to gangster dialect. 

"ALL THREE OF THOSE MORONS VOTED FOR BOTH OF THEM AS FIRST PLACE!" Shouted Jessie. She was upset. It's like Michelle Kwan in the 1998 Olympics, she was perfect at what she did, but the other two did perfect on something much, much better. 

"Huh?" Said Rachel. She was totally spaced out, mainly because she was in a spacey, sleepy mood. 

"Sorry, Jess! Don't hit me! You said to vote honestly!" Said James. 

"Then I change my vote." With a flourish, she changed it from James in second to James in third. 

"Wha...?" Rachel again. 

"SNAP OUT OF IT!" Yelled Misty. 

"Oh, yeah. Sorry. Anyway, we all are going to stop standing around and just hang out until I ask Brock to whip some dinner out of that backpack of his." Said Rachel. 

"You called me by my real name!" exclaimed Brock 

"YOU STOPPED USING THE DIALECT!" Shouted Misty, rejoicing. 

"Yeah... I talk like a human being, in real life, when I'm tired." Said Rachel. 

"Hey, what'd I miss?" Said Ash. 

"Where were you? Asked Arty, who isn't getting enough screen time. 

"The... the... the potty." 

"How is that embarrassing?" Asked Rachel, with scorn and disbelief on her face. 

"I dunno... hey is it suddenly that time of the month?" Asked Ash suddenly. 

"NO THAT'S THE RESULT OF HER STAYING AWAKE FOR THE WHOLE TIME SINCE TOBY WAS GRABBED OUT OF THE PATH! AND THEN AFTER THAT, WHEN I SCREWED UP THE PLAN AND THEY GOT TOBY!" Yelled Brock. 

"It's not your fault Brock, stop yelling." Said Misty. 

Rachel frowned, as if making a decision. "Brock-o. J's. GO AWAY FROM THE GYM TILL I CALL YOU GUYS BACK," She yelled. "As for Ashton and Mistara... you kids are gonna learn about the Internet." 

"Okay..." They both said at once. "Hey! Don't call me by my real name!" They said, again simultaneously. 

Brock and the J's scurried out. Ash, Misty and Rachel ambled over to the computers. 

"Being how both of you are famous for Pokémon stuff, you both have websites. To inflate your egos, read 'em." Rachel said, sitting them down at computers that had yahoo search results on them. 

On the screens, there were 756 Ash sites and 453 Misty sites. Their egos swelled immensely as Ash, the (quote unquote) cute Pokémon master from Pallet and Misty, the (quote unquote) lovely water trainer from Cerulean read a bunch of wanna-be Pokémon trainers descriptions of themselves. 

An hour or two later, they both stumbled upon the same site. It seemed to be a Pokémon site that talked about ALL the famous trainers. There was a page, however, that had poll results as to which famous Pokémon trainers would make good couples. This was quite a long time ago, this poll, 4 months. 

Being old, the poll had Rachel and Toby (Misty held back a sob); Brock was voted to be best 'swinging single' all his life (Ash held back a chuckle); Gary Oak and Jezzele, Duplica and A.J., a couple more, and then, what made them want to kill the owner of the site, ASH AND MISTY. 

"WHAT! WHO'S THE WISE-GUY WHO MADE THIS PAGE!" Yelled both of them at once. Now it was Rachel's turn to hold back a chuckle. 

"Dudes, this is my website and all, but this is the Pokémon training fans of the Internet's decision. I hadn't even met'cha when this came out, Ash. The only thing I voted for was Duplica and A.J., Gary and Jezzele, Brock staying outta people's hair, and me and the Tobster." She flashed 'em a weak grin. 

Ash and Misty glowered at her, then realized they were standing right (I mean RIGHT) next to each other (a la the team rocket motto stances). They jumped away immediately. 

"Dudes, that was funny! YO, BROCK-O!" Called Rachel. 

Doing his best Lurch imitation, Brock said "You screeched?" 

"Yeah... that was a bad imitation of Lurch. Anyway, you remember this site me, you, and Tobzilla made? The one where you were a 'swingin' single'?" 

"Oh yeah... I thought it was really funny that Ash and Misty got a lotta votes. I thought it was just my disillusionment that made their annoying bickering sound like a married couple." Said Brock, shielding himself from a weapon. 

"Ohh, big words." Said Rachel, pulling an apple out of her pocket and starting to eat it. 

Misty started to reach for a weapon, then realized it was gone. "WHO TOOK MY WEAPONS!" She yelled. 

In Fuchsia City, Koga was being challenged by and opponent. Suddenly, clear as day, he heard a semi-familiar voice screaming "WHO TOOK MY WEAPONS!" 

So, you can see that in that room, Ash, Brock, and Rachel almost broke their eardrums. "MISTY! Relax, willya? I mean, I found your mallet on da floor after da kissing contest." Said Rachel, handing her the mallet in the format it's in whenever it's out of Misty's back pocket. 

Ash, however, wasn't sure whether to laugh at Misty's over-excitement or to kill Brock for putting Ash and Misty on Rachel's poll. 

Meowth, who somehow had snuck in, laughed about the whole thing. 

Ash decided to laugh, and kill Brock another time, like after he makes one more comment. 

"What are you laughing at, Mr. um... um..." Misty struggled for an insult. 

"How about Mr. Bike Stealer?" Suggested Rachel, slowly eating an apple. 

"Yeah!" Cried Misty. 

"Hey, toss me an apple?" Asked Brock. 

"Me too! Come'n! Ya can't forget Meowth!" Said Meowth. 

Rachel tossed them both apples. "Here ya go, dudes. Enjoy." 

Ash and Misty were bickering about whether or not Ash had to pay the inflation on the price of bikes from the last 10 years, or just pay the price from 10 years ago. 

"Brock-o, I finally understand what ya mean by da endless lover's spat." Said Rachel. 

"Ya know, dere almost as bad as Jessie and James." Said Meowth. 

"You do realize the both of you have practically the same dialect?" Said Brock. 

"Ya know, your right, Brock-o, boy!" Said Rachel. 

Meowth, Brock, and Rachel made small talk like that for a while. 

5 hours later... "MR. Pokémon Master, Bike stealer, still can't beat A.J... JUST GIVE ME A F**KING BIKE!" 

"I TOLD YOU ALREADY, MISS Runt! I'll pay you the cost of a bike---10 years ago!" 

"Listen, dudes, hate ta interrupt yer lover's spat, but it's time ta sleep." Rachel said, having eaten at least 15 apples. Brock and Meowth had left to go to sleep long ago, but this was Rachel's first encounter with any lover's spats and stayed to watch more. 

Ash and Misty looked at Rachel, then at each other, then at themselves. Both blushed, then realizing that for five hours they had been insulting each other, laughed, and respectively went to their rooms. 

"Dat's funny. They didn't scold me fer callin' it a damn lover's spat. Either it's just me, or they're done wit denial. Dat's good. De Nile, after all, is just a river in Egypt." And with that, Rachel went to sleep. 

Authors Note: Well... relax, everybody. If you've read this far, e-mail me and I'll send you a prize. 


	5. Default Chapter Title

PART 5 

The next morning, Ash and Misty had completely forgotten their little quarrel. They, however, were almost the last two people to wake up. At the breakfast table, before they arrived, Rachel was trying to convince the others they were no longer deep in denial. 

"I'm telling ya! I quote here. I said 'Listen, dudes, hate ta interrupt yer lover's spat, but it's time ta sleep.' Dey looked at me, den at each other, den at themselves. Both blushed, den realizing that for five hours they had been insulting each other, laughed, and respectively went to deir rooms." 

Everyone looked at her strangely. 

"What? What'd I say?" Asked Rachel. 

Brock spoke up first. "Rachel, comrade, that's impossible. If they ever didn't go into the huge river, Misty would at least say something mean, or hit you over the head because she doesn't want Ash to know." 

"Here they come. Ask 'em about it." Said Rachel, munching on yet another apple. 

"Meowth, enough with the apples!" Yelled Meowth, and borrowing Jessie's fan, hit Rachel over the head. Rachel threw Arty's pokeball, and Arty pecked 'im good on the head. 

"An apple an hour um... in memory of Toby Waters-and the stupid flowers?" Said Rachel, trying to think of a good rhyme. 

"Another apple, Rachel?" Said Ash, shaking his head. He then grabbed one for himself. 

"Is that why you are so in shape? You snack on fruit?" Said Misty, taking one too. 

"Misty, from the looks of you, you need to put ON some weight." Cracked Ash. 

Misty said, "The doctor said I have a perfectly good weight. What about you? You need some muscles, Mr. Poke-master." She was JOKING! Ash had somehow developed a 6-pack within 10 years. 

Everyone face faulted. Misty hadn't pulled some ole' weapon out. 

"Ahh... Misty... can I talk to you?" Said Brock. 

"Okay. Speak." Said Misty, piling some sausage and pancakes and eggs (oh my!) onto her plate. 

"No, alone..." Brock heard himself saying. 

"Um, okay." Said Misty, putting down her plate and uncertainly following Brock out of the room. 

Once they were alone, Brock spoke. "You know he likes you, right?" 

"What? Oh, Ash? Of course I do! Why do you ask?" Said Misty, throwing out her apple core. 

"You like him, right?" Said Brock. 

"I know where this is heading. Listen, I haven't asked him out yet because I'm too traditional. That's his job." 

"You, traditional! Okay, I'll buy it. But why didn't you pull some ole' weapon out?" Said Brock, rubbing his head in remembrance. 

"Well, last night, I realized something about myself. I was too violent and aggressive---all the time. Now, only when someone's seriously insulting me I'll pull out ole weapons. Ash isn't seriously bugging me with it. He's just palling around." Said Misty, decisively said. 

Brock looked no less confused for this explanation. 

"Okay, heres the easy explanation. The weapons are getting a little-boring. I now only for serious things. It's not to serious a fact that I like this little kid." Said Misty. 

"Oh... I was beginning to think that you were the calm before the storm-you know, next time I do something Weapon-Worthy, I find myself hanging out with Gastly, Haunter, and Gengar in that tower, laughing 'Gasgasgasgasgas!'" 

Misty laughed. "Brock-o, if I did that, I'd have to face the wrath of Rachel!" 

"Why's that?" Brock asked, with a confused expression (pause: crack jokes about how hard it must be to show confusion w/out eyes.) 

Misty shook her head at his clueless-ness. "SHE'S YOUR BEST FRICKIN' BUDDY!" 

"Oh, yeah." Said Brock with a bit of sheepishness. (pause: crack another joke about sheepishness w/out eyes. I DARE YOU!) 

Someone-you don't see their face, you only see the neck down-with a t-shirt that says 'unofficial ground-type in Rachel's gym' walks in, and with a strangely familiar voice, said "Hey, Brock-o, you forgot your glasses." 

"Thanks, Alex." Said Brock. He put them on, and ka-bam! He has the cutest animie eyes you've never seen! 

"Brock-o, you know you don't call him that!" Said Misty. 

"Sorry, Jackson! Sheesh!" Said Brock 

"That'll do-for now. But remember what you must call me!" Said this Alex Jackson character. 

Jackson left the room. Let's see what he's up to! 

He walks to the breakfast table, and sees Rachel. "Hello, Rachel. So, who is this new electric trainer?" 

Rachel smiled and said "Remember how the Pokémon master quit last night?" 

"WHAT! Ash is the new electric trainer?" He said. We finally get to see his face, and it's none other than… see if you can't guess! (e-mail me at Bookcat87@aol.com to guess, okay?) Ash had slipped out of the room long ago. 

"He broke your little string thing, of winnings, didn't he?" Said Jesse, stumbling into the room with James coming in the other entrance. They had just woke up. 

"Rachel, that's your grandpa's reps? Jeez, I would've thought he would send someone with hair that's normal, unlike you!" 

"What, Jackson, turquoise hair isn't normal? And yet, your navy blue is." 

An exact replica of Jackson walked in. Everyone stared. 

"What?" 

"They were just discussing the odd hair on this team. Your green doesn't help at all." 

"What? I have navy blue hair, um, at the moment!" (I'd like you all to guess this one, too. Bookcat87@aol.com!) 

"I really don't see the point of the dress up games." Said Rachel, munching on yet another apple. 

Let's see where Ash is at! 

Ash had entered the room where Brock and Misty were. 

"WHOA! BROCK-O! YOU HAVE EYES!" Said Ash, his own eyes wide. 

"No, really." Brock said dryly. 

"Ash-y, boy, you really need to get with it!" 

"I squint 'cause one of my siblings broke my glasses when I was 10 and we couldn't afford to replace them until I got a job breeding!" 

"Brock... I'm gonna give you this lecture one more time." Started Misty, smirking. 

Everyone in the gym gathered around Misty, Brock, and Ash. 

"Which one? The one about why not to bother all girls alive? The one about the birds and the bees?" Asked Brock, sighing. "The one about remembering glasses?" 

"No, the one about money." Said Misty. "Now you knew that I would have sacrificed a few things to get you new glasses. Things such as my tent," 

Everyone smirked, looking from Misty to Ash and back. "I want to tell you but now I'm afraid that you might break my heart." Sang an exact replica of Misty, in the voice of Yvette Naranjo or whatever her name was. 

Glowering at everyone, Misty continued. "My suspenders and my fashion sense..." 

"So you could get cheaper things at Wal-Mart?" Asked Ash, grinning. 

"GRRRRR..." Misty growled. "Et cetera, et cetera. So why did you never ask? Because you are a lowly stinking guy, who drools over most every girl he meets but had never heard the birds and the bees speech!" Finish Misty. 

There was some scattered applause. Meowth threw an apple, which Misty promptly caught and ate. 

"Misty, Misty, Misty," Said Rachel, coming up to her. "We all know you would've given up your tent, and why. Brock's heard all of your speeches a thousand times. Why don't you just whack him over the head, like any sane person would?" 

"Half the time he wouldn't know why." Said Misty. 

"So? The pain is just as great!" said Rachel with a twinkle in her eye. 

"Who cares? The point is that Brock... OH!" said Misty. "Jessie, come here!" She yelled across the room. 

Rachel used a finger to indicate Brock, then made a hitting motion with her hand.. Jessie looked confused for a moment, then started grinning devilishly. 

The three girls snuck up behind Brock from different directions. Brock was admiring a men's magazine. Silently as slithering snakes, the pulled out random weapons. 

KA-BOOM! 

In Fuschia City, Koga was about to challenge another opponent. Suddenly, he heard his window breaking. A large lump of broken glasses, spiky black hair, and teacups fell in front of him. 

"Oh, hi, Koga! It's Brock, sorry about bursting in like this." Said Brock, standing up, completely fine after the three weapon salute. 

"Brock? How did you get here?" Asked Koga. 

"That's not the point. Listen, think your Venomoth and your sisters Venomoth could give me some nasty Psybeams so I can get back to Chalky city?" Asked Brock. 

"Sure..." Said Koga and his sister completely confused. Even so, they gave Brock his Psybeams. 

Brock landed back in front of the three girls. "Where do you people keep those things, anyway?" 

Rachel said "Hair," pointing at Jessie, "Back pocket," pointing at Misty, "and baseball cap." She finished, pointing at herself. 

"Okay..." 

"And by the way, Brock, ol' chap..." Jessie added. 

"That's what is commonly known as a personal question." Said Misty, smacking him on the head with her palm. 

"I learned the hard way, pal." Said James. 

"Enlighten me. What is the hard way?" Asked Ash, who was observing this calmly. 

"Watching Jessie's hands every time I got hit." 

"Okay... something here reminds me of a joke I herd in a movie I saw." Said Meowth. 

"What joke?" Inquired James. 

"What movie?" Asked Jessie. 

"Okay. A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says 'Make me one with everything.'" Said Meowth. 

"Crickey! That joke is really inappropriate." Said a random passerby in a British accent. 

"Hey, what is up with all the random passerby in your gym, Cuz?" Asked Ash. 

"Well, they're all here to either help me out with the B, C, and G thing or they already worked for the gym in the first place. Oh, don't call me Cuz, I'm the only one here who's allowed to call people weird nicknames." 

"But Rach! I'm your cuz!" 

James was thinking. "OOH! Now can I tell my little piece of insider information?" 

"No, you may not, Jimmy-boy. Let's wait until... I say it's okay." Said Rachel. 

"Okay. But stop calling me Jimmy-boy!" Said James. 

"Okay, Little Jim." Said Rachel, grinning. 

"Stop calling me weird nicknames! Particularly that one!" 

"I never called you 'weird nicknames', Jimmy-boy" Said Rachel. 

"Don't mind her. This is practically her only source for fun anymore, since Tobzilla kicked the bucket. Making people frustrated by calling them any nickname possible-that they don't want." Said Brock. 

"What could she possibly think up for moi?" Said Jessie, gesturing to herself in the most affected way possible. 

"Hiya, Ms. Mirror!" Said Rachel. 

"Why do I work here?" Said Jessie, obviously pissed. 

"Because it's da only way ta keep us outta da jail!" Yelled Meowth, scratching her on the face. 

"My face! My immaculate flawlessness! You natty brute!" Said Jessie. 

"Where'd ya learn all dose new vocabulary words?" Said Meowth. 

"She's been studying, hasn't she." Said Ash. "I remember when people thought you were; a dangerous duo. Slowly, you became more and more comical and less dangerous. And you even were romantic at points. For example, the SS Anne. What was with the beauty doesn't last, wonderful dresser crapola. Or the talking Ghost of Maiden's Peak. What was with the 'it's not that, I just hate chicks like that.' My freakin' ass." Said Ash, polishing off an apple. 

Jessie's head grew. "WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN, YOU LITTLE TWERP!" 

"I can explain. He, like everyone who encountered you two, noticed a _little_ chemistry. But Jessie had ruined the mood about 50 times, and it was getting on our nerves. Particularly with James' fiancée... you should really just throw her out, have Jessie dress up as her, you two get married, reveal that Jessie isn't Jessiebelle after you had everything in James' name, kick his parents out, and live happily ever after." Said Misty, concluding her monologue by eating an apple. 

"We've thought about that, but it involves getting married." Said James. 

"So pull something like that girl in the Truman show. Cross your fingers… not like you would. You'd pretend like you did, but relish the thought you were really married." Said Brock, eating a baby apple (his monologue wasn't long enough.) 

"I agree. Dey really should just admit it. Dat would help my life immensely." Said Meowth. 

"We all know, J's. Might as well just pull off that plan. We'll wait back here in Chalky. Or, of course, we could come with you. We could all pull off pretending to be rich kids who convinced you ta come home." Said Rachel, drinking a glass of apple juice. 

"Er... how would we get rid off Jessiebelle?" Said James. "And how in god's name would Jessie sound like her?" 

"Try it." Commanded Meowth. 

"Okay... what did she say... You're not running properly!" Said Jessie. 

Everyone stared at her. 

"Jessie, Dat was poifect! You sounded just like her! It's like you two have the same voice actress!" Said Meowth once again making a crack about them living in a cartoon. "You should talk like dat more often!" 

"Great... now how do we get rid of Jessiebelle?" Asked James. 

"Decoy James. Brock...? Try to sound like James. We could easily make you look like him." Said Rachel. 

"Er... Surrender now or prepare to fight! Mwhahahahahaha!" Said Brock, singing it like in Double Trouble. 

"Same voice actor... if we were a cartoon. Honestly, that's awesome." Said some random passerby. 

"Great. Great. Fabulous. I'm faking getting married. Wonderful. I'm sure The Boss will approve." Said Jessie. 

"Of course he will! Remember your insider info? Well, he really believes in that, and it was Misty's idea!" Said Rachel. "Besides, Ashy and I'll vouch for it." 

"Why do I have to act like James?" Said Brock. 

"Because Ash isn't the best at imitating people. But even people as rich as the Sliphs' have to recognize a Pokémon Master." Said Rachel. 

James was bewildered. "How'd you know my last name?" 

"Meowth, let's see... dey're da richest people in da world, and Sliph is da richest company in da world. Draw conclusions!" Said Meowth. 

"What's my last name, then?" Said Jessie, haughtily. 

"Er... I don't know, Rocket, Santaisajynx, Destitute?" Said Misty. 

"Did you just call me a prostitute?" Asked Jessie, her eye's narrowing. 

"No, destitute means poor, Jessie. But really, with that uniform, does er... grampa want his agents to be called hookers?" Said Ash. 

"First of all, that's something you'd have to ask him. Second of all, that's not it, but good guess. My last name is Scanty." Said Jessie. 

"As in scantily clad?" Asked Brock. 

Rachel managed to put a metal sheet in between Brock's head and the weapon of choice, a fan. 

"Pika chu! Pika chu!" Said Pikachu, meaning to say "I'll help! I'll help!" 

"Guys, Pikachu wants to help, is that okay?" Said Rachel. 

"Sure, but how do you understand him? I mean, he's my Pokémon!" Said Ash. 

"Ash, Jamie tells me! For some odd reason, Jamie doesn't care that I have A LOT of trouble with mind-links. And er... him?" 

"PIKA PI! PIKA PIK CHU PI PIKACHU!" Which meant "STOP IT! DON'T TELL HIM MY GENDER!" 

"Okay, Pikachu." 

For some strange reason, Jessie and James went to go dance around to Double Trouble while singing along. "H-I'm so gorgeous!" breathed Jessie. 

"I'm always the man." Lied James. 

And both of them at once managed to give a really fake (good) Giovanni imitation. "You're just the players, in MY master plan!" 

Somebody changed the track to Everything Changes. 

"I wonder if dat line means anything, dat one da boss just said." Speculated Meowth. 

Author's Note: Well, I've crossed continuties with Waterguns, the pre-series. And sorry about how this is really long. If you haven't e-mailed for an award yet, please do! 


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